Was your baby adopted?
If your baby was adopted you may have experienced severe birth trauma coupled with deep loss that may never have been acknowledged or processed in any meaningful way.
Between the 1950’s and 1980’s thousands of women in the UK endured huge social pressure, and quite often severe emotional abuse when they found they were pregnant. Many were forced to have their baby adopted against their will and told they were ‘shameful’ and to ‘get on with their lives’ and forget what happened.
The scars of adoption can run deep and may women feel that they have lived ‘half a life’ as they have never been acknowledged at the mothers they are. For some having more children never happens as it is too difficult attempt.
If a new family happens, that first birth can feel like a bereavement (without closure) and remains a painful secret that is not shared with loved ones as the shame and weight of what happened is too much to bear.
When we bury pain this deeply it can have a huge effect on our relationships, and our ability to full participate in life. However, when we live with something for so long is also becomes the ‘new normal’.
If this is your story and you would like some help to finally process this deep and hidden pain in a safe space, please do get in touch. It doesn’t matter how long ago it happened, what does matter is that your story is acknowledged and you find a way to process the emotional burden.