If I never use my no, what power does my yes have?
TRE®, people pleasing and finding room for an honest answer. A French colleague once told me about being expected to kiss relatives when she was a child. It was the custom: this was how you greeted your family. But sometimes she didn’t want to. They were relatives,...
Being seen without judgement: TRE® and feeling safe in intimacy
How attentive presence, ongoing consent and being able to find another person’s face can make closeness feel different. Sometimes, simply being witnessed without judgement is an enormous experience. In my work, I have seen how significant it can be for someone to feel...
Learning to receive: what TRE® changed for me
When you are used to doing everything yourself, accepting care can take practice. Someone offers to help, and you hear yourself say, “No, it’s fine. I’ve got it.” Perhaps you do have it. You are capable, and you have managed things on your own before. But the answer...
TRE® and intimacy: becoming closer without losing yourself
Learning to listen to your body, recognise your preferences and make room for boundaries in connection. When I get on a crowded Tube train, I sometimes find myself standing with someone’s armpit in my face. My body has preferences about this arrangement. There is very...
Why Can’t I Relax on Holiday Anymore?
Summer Survival Series 3 The Hidden Cost of Narcissistic Abuse If you're still in the relationship, you may also find my previous article helpful: How to Survive a Holiday with a Narcissist Without Losing Yourself. People often imagine that the first holiday after...
How To Survive A Holiday With A Narcissist Without Losing Yourself
Summer Survival Series – Part 2 If you read my previous article, Why Do Narcissists Ruin Holidays?, you may have recognised that familiar feeling of arriving somewhere beautiful and yet never quite arriving at all. Your suitcase is unpacked. The weather is warm....
Why Do Narcissists Ruin Holidays? The Hidden Ways Emotional Abuse Steals Your Summer
"Why does my partner always ruin holidays?" Summer Survival Series - Part 1 Every summer, people arrive at my website after typing some version of this question into Google. Sometimes it's, "Why do narcissists ruin holidays?" Sometimes it's, "Why do I dread going away...
Why Do I Still Feel Like This After Narcissistic Abuse?
You’ve left. Or perhaps you are trying to leave. You may have read the books, watched the videos, named the gaslighting, understood the manipulation and finally realised: this was abuse. So why don’t you feel free? Why are they still in your head? Why do you still...
When Someone Else’s Voice Has Become Louder Than Your Own
One of the most painful consequences of narcissistic abuse is not what happens during the relationship It's what happens afterwards. Long after the arguments have ended. Long after the silent treatments. Long after you've finally recognised the manipulation for what...
Beyond Mindfulness: Going Deeper into the Body’s Intelligence
Abandoned in Plain Sight. The Violence of Silence in Narcissistic Abuse
Some wounds are invisible yet lifelong. The silent treatment—when a parent or caregiver repeatedly withdraws communication, warmth, or presence to punish or control—can fracture a child’s sense of self at its very core. This isn’t healthy space-taking; it’s relational...
How Do I Trust Myself Again After Narcissistic Abuse?
The body’s role in trauma bonding If you've ever found yourself lost in a toxic relationship—knowing it's harmful but feeling unable to leave—you’re not weak or foolish. You’re chemically hooked. Targets often lose their deep inner knowing and true sense of self and...
Why Covert Narcissists Ruin Holidays – How To Protect Your Peace
Holidays are meant to be times of connection, fun, and rest. But if you’re dealing with a covert narcissist in your life—whether it’s a partner, parent, ex, sibling or in-law—you may notice that these times often become filled with tension, manipulation, or...
The Psychology Behind Dog Whistling: Abuse You Can’t Prove, But Feel
Some forms of psychological abuse don’t leave visible scars, but they can slowly erode your sense of self, undermine your confidence, and leave you feeling isolated and confused. One of the most insidious tactics I see in work with survivors of narcissistic abuse is...
Find Yourself Again After Narcissistic Abuse
The Journey Back to You Narcissistic abuse leaves wounds that don’t show on the surface, but they feel heavy and run deep. It strips you of your sense of self, leaves you questioning your own worth, and makes you feel like a stranger in your own life. The confusion,...
Coercive Control: Everything you need to know
Coercive control is one of the most insidious forms of abuse, often leaving those affected questioning their own reality. It’s not about one-off arguments or disagreements but rather a sustained pattern of behaviours designed to undermine your independence,...
The ‘Grey Rock Method’ protection against Narcissistic Abuse
The Grey Rock Method involves making yourself as uninteresting and emotionally unresponsive to the narcissist as possible. By denying them the emotional reactions they crave, you rob them of the power they hold over your mood and energy. However, the grey rock method...
The Covert Narcissist in Your Family
Realising that there may be a covert narcissist in the family is a deeply unsettling experience. It challenges your perceptions of love, connection, and loyalty. Unlike the overt narcissist, who thrives on being the centre of attention and exudes grandiosity, the...
Six tactics covert, passive aggressive narcissists use at Christmas
For many, Christmas is a time filled with warmth, connection, and joy. But for those navigating relationships with a covert passive-aggressive narcissist, it’s a season fraught with tension, confusion, and emotional exhaustion. Instead of anticipating shared laughter...
The Body Keeps the Score? TRE and the NHS
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Emotional Freedom Techniques
EFT is a simple, gentle process which has shown itself to be incredibly effective for the past 30 years. The beauty of EFT is that you can learn it quickly as a self-help tool and also use it at a deeper level with a skilled practitioner.
Trauma Release Excercises
Trauma Release Exercises are simple and easy to learn and the process of physical and psychological transformation they bring about is often astonishing and life changing.